5 Tips to Survive and Co-Parent Successfully During the Holidays
Holidays can be tough for co-parents. Emotions run high, and so do expectations. We all have an idealized vision of the "perfect family holiday," which often doesn’t match reality. For children of divorce, this time of year can even feel dreaded—a day marked by tension between parents rather than celebration. But with some intention and planning, you can help your children look forward to the holidays rather than fear them.
Here are 5 tips to make this season a positive experience for everyone.
Communicate Openly with Your Co-Parent
Open communication is key to a successful holiday season for your kids. Sit down with your co-parent to make a workable plan, and discuss any travel or activities well in advance. It may feel overwhelming, but keeping each other in the loop can make all the difference. If finding common ground feels impossible, consider enlisting a professional, like a co-parenting counselor or mediator, to help you build a plan that respects everyone’s needs. Think of it as an investment in preserving your child’s love for the holidays.
Plan your holiday schedule together, considering everyone’s needs.
Be willing to compromise when needed.
Consider professional help if communication is challenging.
Create New Traditions While Preserving the Old Ones
Divorce doesn’t mean the end of all traditions; it just means they may need to evolve. Take time to develop new holiday rituals that your children can look forward to each year. Kids find comfort in routines, so new traditions can bring stability and excitement to their holiday season. If they love an old tradition—like visiting a particular family member or decorating the tree in a certain way—try to keep it alive if possible. Being flexible with timing can also help; holidays don’t have to be celebrated on specific dates.
Let old traditions be an anchor to the past, and new ones a bridge to the future.
Be creative and open to celebrating on different days if needed.
Don’t Try to Out-Gift Each Other
When parents compete over gifts, it’s often driven by guilt or rivalry, but in the end, it can hurt your kids. Children need time and attention, not expensive presents. If you want to avoid falling into a gift-giving competition, have a conversation with your co-parent about what each of you will buy. This helps create a sense of unity and prevents overspending or misunderstandings. Remember, the best memories aren’t tied to gifts—they’re built through quality time together.
Discuss gifts with your co-parent to avoid competition.
Focus on creating memories, not just giving material items.
Consider Helping Your Child Find a Gift for Your Co-Parent
Encouraging your child to give a small, thoughtful gift to their other parent can be a powerful gesture. It shows that you respect and value their relationship, even if things are different now. If your child is old enough, let them help pick out or pay for the gift. Even something simple, like a framed picture of your child, can be meaningful. This practice is not about receiving a gift in return; it’s about modeling respect, kindness, and love for your child’s sake.
Help your child pick out a gift for their other parent, especially on Mother’s or Father’s Day.
Give the gift without expecting anything in return—this is for your child’s benefit.
Take Care of Yourself
If your children are spending part of the holiday with their other parent, don’t spend the day in loneliness. Plan something you’ll enjoy, whether it’s meeting up with friends, diving into a good book, or enjoying a quiet night in. This self-care can actually help your kids feel more relaxed, knowing that you’re happy and fulfilled too. Take care of your physical and mental well-being by getting enough rest, exercising, and eating well. Modeling self-care teaches your children the importance of looking after themselves in every season of life.
Plan a personal celebration or activity while your kids are away.
Prioritize sleep, exercise, and healthy eating.
Be an example to your kids by taking care of yourself.
Practice Gratitude as a Family
It’s easy to focus on what’s missing during the holidays, but practicing gratitude can shift the perspective for everyone involved. Take a moment with your kids to reflect on the things you’re grateful for, whether it’s through a family discussion, journaling, or a simple gratitude jar. Gratitude helps everyone appreciate what they have and reminds your children that love and joy can exist even when things look different. This practice can be grounding for kids, giving them a positive framework that lasts beyond the holiday season.
Make gratitude a family activity, whether by talking, journaling, or creating a gratitude jar.
Help your children see the beauty in the new memories and traditions being created.
Co-parenting during the holidays can be challenging, but with open communication, flexibility, and intention, you can create a season filled with warmth and joy. You’re building new traditions, modeling resilience, and showing your children that love can flourish in any family structure.
Interested in Talking to a Coparenting Counselor in Birmingham, AL?
If you’re feeling stuck in your co-parenting relationship, especially during the challenges of the holiday season, co-parenting counseling can help! At Sparrow Counseling in Birmingham, AL, we’re here to support you in navigating this process with care and compassion. Let us help you create a more peaceful and joyful holiday experience for your family. To get started, follow these three simple steps:
Reach out to Sparrow Counseling for a free 15-minute consultation.
Be matched with a caring, experienced coparenting counselor.
Start your co-parenting journey with the support you need to thrive this holiday season.
Let’s work together to make the holidays brighter for you and your children!
Other Services Offered at Sparrow Counseling
At Sparrow Counseling we offer in-person and online therapy in the state of Alabama. In addition to coparenting counseling, our team specializes in reunification therapy, blended family counseling, divorce & family mediation, teen counseling, grief, and loss counseling, couples counseling, and more in Birmingham, Alabama. Learn more by checking out our FAQs and Blog!
Sara Hadgraft, the owner of Sparrow Counseling, is an M.Ed, LMFT, LPC, NCC, Certified Parenting Coordinator, Divorce and Family Mediator (Domestic Violence Trained) and has a private practice called Sparrow Counseling in Birmingham, AL. She specializes in Parenting Coordination, Co-Parenting Counseling, and Divorce and Family Mediation. Her passion is helping parents learn how to become successful coparents, so their children can thrive after their divorce. Contact Sparrow Counseling if you are interested in getting help at hello@sparrowcounsel.com.
